Headache now ear infection coming back. What's next. Shit man.. fricking hate this week, nothing has been going right.. But never mind. It's all gonna be over soon.

God please at least make my ear infection go away...
It's the last thing i ever wanna have ever again.

Wonder what does the bacteria has for my ears. Fricking fetish for my ears...

Another nice song by the Jackson 5. Hope you love this song...
Just call my name and I'll be there. =)

Lyrics:

You and I must make a pact
We must bring salvation back
Where there is love, I'll be there

I'll reach out my hand to you,
I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name and Ill be there

Chorus:
And oh - I'll be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you
I'm so glad that I found you
I'll be there with a love thats strong
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on
Yes I will, yes I will

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well thats all I'm after
Whenever you need me, I'll be there
I'll be there to protect you
With an unselfish love I respect you
Just call my name and I'll be there

(Chorus)

If you should ever find someone new
I know he'd better be good to you
Cos if he doesnt, I'll be there

Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah
I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there

(Just look over your shoulders, honey - ooh)

I'll be there, I'll be there, whenever you need me, I'll be there

Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah
I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there...

Haha.. although I am rushing through my preparation for some school work, I decided to take some time off to mainly dedicate this song to Fieary and to wish her goodluck for all her papers.




I pray that Jesus be with her through this period, give her strength and protect her forever amen.
Goodluck! =)

No matter how busy I won't forget about you even though I don't show it, I care.

Been attacked by FATIGUE recently. These weeks to come won't be smooth sailing.

Guess this fatigue sticking like a chewing gum on me is making some people and myself irritated.
I'm not unhappy or anything, but some people think so and soon they can't be bothered with me.
So to say, people don't wanna care for each other.
These days people are rather fake.
Well these weeks are making me blend into the colors of this world.
There's no right or wrong.
There's no black or white.

THIS WORLD IS JUST COVERED WITH PATCHES OF GRAY.
It's the truth. The truth hurts.

Well... after looking at how I have been living my life, I think it's time to make a change. If the world is going to be gray, I'll choose to be different. To those who think there's no such thing as true this and that, then they have already sealed their own fate. Cause I make my own destiny, I choose not resign to fate.

Wondering why am I still awake. To those whom I see almost everyday, you people know who are you, I apologize.

Just a boy trying to catch his breathe in this asphyxiating world.

Another nice love song.. Enjoy

Today marks the first full week of my attachment. At none other than CPTC. At first I saw this as a boring programme taking my holidays, where I would be much better left sleeping at home. However, it seems like it's rather interesting. Especially the practicals. Awesome.

However, today's prac was much to my disappointment. It was about AIR SYSTEMS. It is rather complicated and we had to put on ear plugs. This led to us not being able to hear much of what the trainer wanted us to hear. But nonetheless, pracs are things one should look out for man. Am so waiting to climb the 10 storey distillation tower.. tho I am afraid of heights.

Overall this is the kinda week I've been leading, quite fruitful I guess (at least much better than sleeping and doing nothing at home). Looking forward to more fun and experience learning for the weeks to come.

And oh yea, too bad they don't allow the taking of photographs, unless I wanna die young I shall not take any pics.

To everyone, may God bless you.
Have a pleasant week to come.
Xav...

It's hard to be me now... even when I am at home now. With my family members around me, I can't bear to show them my weak side. I don't wanna make them worried and waste their time on me.
I just don't want them to know that I am such a useless person.
I need a hug badly... But it seems like I don't know who to call. I just wished someone could notice how I am now...

I don't know...

I am in need of loads of motivation to study for my exams!! Next paper up is FMA.. Fluid Mechanics. A not so great and interesting module to study for any student.. So it kinda makes me don't really wanna give a shit. Haha... Oh wells a great song.. yea. Motivation by Sum 41.

Great day ahead everyone =]

Fireworks

More fireworks

Fireworks again

A Caucasian with the Singapore flag -.-

Willy wonka!

Had a real fun time of my life yesterday.. afterall it was NDP09.. HAPPY BDAE SINGAPORE! =]
Went fireworks watching with affan and trudy. Walked hell lot but who cares, it was worth it. Too bad to people who didn't go uh. It was not so boring afterall. It's boring only if you expect too much.
After fireworks, went to orchard to meet up with brenda and we all had ice cream! Honeydew was shiok. And both affan and trudy stole two big bites =x
Well enuf of my life.
Singapore's 44 and well may peace continue to stay in our homeland. The new song by electrico is nice too.. Keep it up!

For more fotos.. Actually not much more, go take a look at my Facebook.

Till then... and i slept at 5am -.-
Chao.

Mango Smoothie

This mango smoothie was bought from Mc Cafe! Supposed to upload this pic yesterday but i forgot and was practically too lazy to. For those who haven't tried this nice smoothie, do give it a try when you make ur way to Mc Cafe the next time!

Todae was a rather interesting day where i reached home rather late. Had school and blah de ya da. Gems as usual ends early=x
Went out and ended up in woodlands playing guitar a bit onli la. 3 of us just slacked and had fun i guess. With me coming up with stupid lyrics and affan's pro guitar-ing haha... That's fun! =]

Alright shall make a move.. May all have a nice and long weekend. Enjoy! =]

Till then...

Don't really have much to say todae. Just feeling real bored and tired. But just don't feel like sleeping. Currently panicking a little for my maths module, feel so screw as exams are coming and I am still slacking alot when I should use this time to revise for things I never understood. Engineering maths seems like an alien subject to me.... Guess it originated from a planet called Jupiter or it's neighbours bah.

Oh wells, Here's a nice song by Hedley. Alif intro-ed it to the class and I found it nice too. Old school... Take it away.

Till then..

Today started off in heat transfer lesson where almost half of my class people didnt come for the lesson. This was so as they fell sick and it all started as a long story...

Started from one person, now 8 people in total has been affected by Mr. John lol...


I later went for gems where I met my new teacher in charge of my gems. He's a man who came from china. Dr cui taian. Okay shan't say much but I couldn't understand alot of the things he was trying to point out to the class =x

The best part was that he ended the lesson one hour earlier and I was rather happy about that as I was alone today in gems. Made my way to T11A to get LOA for brenda and then made my way back to the library to meet up with the rest to go to my final lesson. FMA.


For lunch I had ROTI PRATA from a stall in foodcourt one. This prata I ate led me to have a not so nice end to the day. After a few hours where FMA ended, I had this pain in my tummy area so pain I rushed to the toilet. While making my way there, the pain grew and I almost fainted due to the pain (no joke). I spent a long time in the toilet after that and yea... I had
The morale of the story is to never eat prata from the stall again (or should I say never to eat from that stall when the "ANGRY" aunty is cooking). Well I can't say I blame her, everyone has got days they just have got no mood. =]

On the journey back home, I saw a older aged lady carrying a baby with one arm and trying to push a baby pram with the other. I asked her if she needed help and said sure later when the train's here. When the train came, she tried to push the pram in with difficulty and one women and I offered to help. I pushed the pram in for her near the sit so she could sit down. When she finally reached her destination and as she exit pass me, she thanked me. One thing I learnt is that helping people makes you happy. Seeing the smile on her face makes me realised at least I have managed to bring a smile onto someone's face. And seeing the women who helped too and affan who helped stopped the pram from swaying, makes me feel happy too. =]

Fast forward to after school where I went to a newly opened shop called "PUNK STAR". A rather new and cool shop. They are selling rather nice looking clothes and I'm planning to get a T-shirt from them soon as there's this new design I'm eyeing on and it's coming out soon. teehee.


Had a briefing given by Ms Phua about the upcoming ITP I will be going through during the upcoming hols. Hopefully it will be a good experience and may all do well =]

Anyways, to end off. To brenda, zaid and faried, recover soon. You'll all be fine tomrrow =]
Keeping ya all in my prayer.

Till then.. God bless.

Another nice song... So here I am still holding on~

Passed by sembawang park just now while delivering food for the "food from the heart". Somehow remembered the past where I was there before. There was a day important, I was there and attending a birthday party.

Still remembered being so quiet and so me and just standing at the bbq pit helping out with the cooking. Seeing the birthday girl happy with that sweet smile on her face somehow made me feel happy. Remembered buying her a cup and helping out with the cleaning up of the place after everything. Although I was being myself (quiet) somehow I enjoyed...

Guess this is a sign that I am getting old. Since they usually say old people think about the past most of the time. Anyways... I was happy then. Very...

Today was an okay day for a Monday where school had just re-opened. Got back my FMA (Fluid Mechanics A) paper back. I scored a score of 40/50 marks. Happy with my results but still have got to work harder as I have already forgot what I studied during the hols before the Mid Sem Test. =x
Got to see my Practical results for PROINS (Process Instrumentation). I got rather high (To me is high la) since SIN KIM was in my group. Credit goes to you my friend.

Wells for tomorrow, I'll be getting my ENGINEERING MATHEMATICS and PROINS paper back. Hopefully all is well. But for my maths, I remember that I couldn't do the first question on the list -.-"

Oh wells =)
Here's song by the band named Lit! Enjoy~ (and I'm still having a real bad and itchy sun burn -.-)
Till then.

Invisible to you..

Sentosa day. And am burnt from being under the sun for too long. As red as the baboon's ass. Figure out yourself how red that is. Itching from the back to the front. Feeling tired. Haven't finish EIC EQ journal. Wanna sleep? Yea. Wanna escape? Yea.
Nights.

Today's officially KAI MING's Birthday! Happy Birthday Kai Ming!!!! May all your wishes come true and be happy no matter how bad the people in your school can get!! =]
Here's a song I'm dedicating to you! Stay happy~ Gay as in happy, not the other meaning =x

Sorry for not being able to be there to celebrate with you... Real sorry. But anyways SMILE!

Feeling emotionless now... Wondering why too. Maybe just the things going on around me.
If people can actually be true to their friends and people around them. The world would be a better place. The things around can make one become paranoid and in the end, more misunderstandings arise. There are some who will stop and care. But there are also some who will not stop as they take joy in seeing someone else hurt.
Just saw some crazy vids about the youth of the world.. Getting more retarded as usual. Hopefully someone can change them.


Anyways. Back to today. Went to vivo with the usual gang to chill out/off. Since it was officially our last paper for our course of study. For most of the class, today might be their last paper. But for me and some others, tomorrow's than the end. GEMS also got MST! Can you believe it?

But nevermind. This sunday will be fun for my class i hope. Since we're having our class outing again! And this time..... We're all going to SENTOSA! Frisbee, soccer,volleyball,swimming, etc. Yea... and last but not least, hopefully there'll be good weather and fun.

God bless you people...
Chao..
Xavier.

Today's paper weren't as bad as the ones yesterday. Compared to yesterday's... Today was a blessing. The paper seems much more do-able. -.-
Well song of the day.. Jimmy Eat World-The Middle.... A song that kinda helps me when I am down. Dedicating to people out there who feels a little out of place when in their cliche or friends. Those people who have others talking behind their backs. Those who are treated like a plague by the others. People don't think so much about this and who knows, you might be better on your own. Keep smiling people.

Signing out.. till next time

Tomorrow's the MST (Mid semestral tests). Haven't been studying productively but instead have been procrastinating alot. =x

Moreover, I'm supposed to be like studying now... BUT I'm blogging instead... But I have also been studying hard la so to say... SO I THINK it's okay to play hard too.
Well been keeping myself busy loads... And somehow this song "Always Be My Baby"(David Cook version) seems to be so nice. Been listening for quite some time. Am dedicating to all who have lost someone special. Don't give that special someone up, keep trying. But when it's time to move on, since we all know that if we love someone, we would definitely want he/she to be happy right?

Well afterall it takes two hands to clap... I so know that.
Stay happy & smile always people. I will too.

Am keeping myself busy... and will keep keeping myself busy with things.. be it games or going out or studying. Just as long as I can keep things off my mind.

Back to today... Went out with tris and edwin! again yea.. gamed and ate sakae sushi where I went broke. Officially broke! And I got this sms from danny, "X I got something to tell you, but you don't be mad.". Second message, "My school have another extra one week holiday because of the H1N1 but your school don't have! lol.". Danny you funny la.. at least that was something that made me laugh and it didn't make me mad... It just made me very mad! Thanks though..

Anyways, danny's birthday is here in two more days... Old already. One year pass so fast uh? Enjoy your last two days of being 20!

Till then....

I miss you...
Aishiteru.

I'm not good with words and have never been good with words....

Well this week for me, as the first week of hols and i have and must study hard during this period of time for my upcoming MST(mid sem tests)... However, i havent done much or can say havent started.... Still procrastinating.

Well had fun and such, can say one or two days only.. Rather got sian-ed after plans of watching a movie got canceled. As todae was a boring day.. nothing much happened. TIRED i guess............

Let's just hope action speaks louder then words....

Oh yea something really important i need to remind myself always...
To pray for someone real important,for my grandma as she seems like she is getting sicker and for everyone whom i know.


Grandma take care and i love you for being there for me. And for that important person, I thank God for placing you in my life... Kawaii you are.
Forever and always. God bless and take care people.

Till some time soon...

Well hello blog..

Today was rather much a meaningful and well spent day. Went swimming in the morning with affan, where we made a little new fren. His name is YU TAN I think... Quite a smart and talkative kid for his age of 8. And he is a Burmese cum chinese. Cool kid... Hope to see you tomorrow at the swimming pool again YU TAN.

After which i went home and rushed out to SP... To study but ended up wasting much time. Haha.. And time flew real quick till 6pm ^.^
Lalala~ had a meeting with mabel as she was in SP for some course where she won chocolates (she gave them to me) teehee thanks!!
After meeting up both Erica and mabel and I went off to find the nearest palce with pizza hut. I suggested West mall, but when we got there, i realised there was not even a pizza roof. What more hut. Sorry for making you two waste the trip money....

And then we headed for CCK where confirm have pizza hut. When we finally found the place and sat, the cheesy deal was ordered!!... Fast forward a bit... finished, paid the bill and left. Did a little window shopping and finally headed home. When mabel unzipped her bag to take her wallet out to buy the standard tix, i managed to cease that chance to give her back her cash.. I can be a spy uh! =]

To end it all... I hope she enjoys today and I definitely enjoyed today. ^.^

When my time is near.. God protect her.. Amen

THOUGHT OF THE DAY:
Gratitude much.. nah.. tris u noe how it goes uh.. Just becos of one... someone might follow and do the same thing to hurt the other party. But it's okay being nice is still best.. And the girl in your group chill uh... if she dun wan put in effort in group work then too bad lor.. her lost.

Rather tiring today.. Cos i reached home at about 2plus in the morning AM yes.. But at least i get to meet up with my sec school frens.. Had more fun then ever... Thanks guys for meeting up =)...

Met with Edwin, Ray and Tristan and we went for dinner at some jap place which burned a hole in our pockets... 10.80 for dinner money fly lor.. haha edwin thanks for agreeing uh.. next time we bring you go some where with conveyor belt la. Talked about poly and such and yea sorry guys uh... nonsense coming out of my mouth. We rather go back to sec school uh..

After eatin we made our way to play lan... LEFT 4 DEAD again =)... Didnt really enjoyed playing duno why.. the mood just wasnt there.. Bumped into Jeb, Joshua, Chris choo and co at the lan shop.. When Jeb saw us he went " OMG!! I feel damn bad la..." Cos he was supposed to meet up with us but went to play with the other group instead haha.. OFC I told him " Don't need to feel bad uh.. nice to see you here too anyway" haha... ACS barker.... Joshua should have took my drink... i didnt finish in the end.. haha..

After lan-ing we walked from dhoby ghaut all the way to orchard cineleisure area and slacked there.. after which we decided to buy movie tix for star trek.. and the time of the show is 11.30pm... Waited for the movie to start and stoned and did stupid things to waste time.. when the time finally came.. we went in and i fell asleep -.-... Wasted money....

When the show finally ended.. we went to take taxi home man.. And the taxi i took was like flying more then driving man.. the taxi driver drove seriously fast. Enjoyed the ride rather addictive.. haha i hope to sit a fast driving car again. REACHED HOME AT 2.30am and bathed and went to sleep.. haha............... stupid...


Hope to go out again soon guys... And tristan remind me to pay u back the 20 bucks u lent me.. And thanks for drinking a bit with me =) *Brain damage* haha inside joke uh =)

Ooo......

Today spent duno how long at the self cert place with shahirah... Stupid lappie.. I think out lappies can throw away alr.. SP sucks for not giving us a choice of vista or XP. And now the FRESHIES get to choose and they can connect to SPwireless without any prob!... Stupid..
And sorry to you know who if you see this... sorry for making your bag smell of fan choy =x

Oh wells am back home.. everything seems calm in me... and i'm waiting for my mother's fried rice!! Ohm nom nom nom.. Long time since i last ate her fried rice. And i missed the taste... And i cant make my mother worry anymore..

Thanks mom.. I understand.. If it shall it shall be.. If not no use fighting hard. But never give up too unless it hurts. Time to think for myself..
Thanks mom =)

Mabel tell me bout the fishing thing soon yea?
chao..

Shahirah.. hoped u liked the cold pearly... Dun ask me why but i felt like treating you..
To Alif.. sorry that last min never join u for the ice cream..


God please save me for what I am.. and everything I am..
So that I can revert back to Xavier back then..
So my pillow wont sits to dry..
So that deep inside I wont sigh..
So that I can smile the smiles I hope to..
Take my breathe away.. Thank you God..

I drank todae night.. until now i am still awake.. i sat at the stairs of my block thinking thru things.. and i noe it's time i shud wake up.. To be honest.. my head was throbbing and i just thot alot things.. guess when u are half drunk u tend to say what you feel most..

I felt i am going down.. For this past one year.. Just holding on.. be it this or family.. Mother came back and saw me there.. walked with me while listening to what i have to say... I just noe that i shud learn how to treasure myself more..

Whatever happened is past and i shall learn to move on.. yes move on.. it's difficult but i shud try my best.. Like shahirah said.. if she can do it.. i can.

This might be the final post for my blog.. and i wanna apologise to someone.. real sorry.

xavier's okay..

Cheryl dun be sad.. gonna be over everything's gonna be fine. Sorry if i bumped into u at the wrong time.. But dun be sad anymore k? Anything find me.. even tho i am no where much better.. I will try to help be4 i die haha.. And what i mean is not that i am gonna die... I'll try at least.

And thanks to Shahirah my bawg.. you rock not only in guitar hero.. in my life too. Thanks a billion cant stop thanking you. Haha.. depression time.. haha (inside joke). Need food for the restaurant city find me.. owe you one..or more..

And danny thanks for coming out with me at such late notice.. rather last minute but still thanks alot.. even tho i did nothing at the lib.. But talking to you is a life saver.. 5 years of frenship.. what more can i ask for.. whack me to death also will remember u as a fren who is always there.. thanks. And your drawing's nice.. random but there.. you got ur talent.

The reason why i am up so early is becos the whole night i couldnt sleep.. Infection in the ear driving me nuts.. Woke up to took one panadol extra but no use.. the pain got worse and i keep turning in bed..

Then now just came home after seeing the doctor.. he said no swimming for one month and must use something or ear plugs to cover the ear when bathing.. If not the pain will keep on coming back only. Had an injection in my ass and i didnt noe it was so serious... And anti-biotics are huge.. And to top it all, everything cost 50 bucks.. But doctor was kind enough when i told him i only got 50 in my pocket.. Thanks you doctor..

problematic kid i am..

went out for today.. at least i did.. if not i might have gone crazy..

Bumped into alif.. then went tgt with my fren to esplanade.. we just lazed arund and do nothing i guess. Thanks danny for accompanying me..

On the way home saw so many couples.. and many old ones at my hse downstairs.. Haha.. they are examples of love that can last.. Admire them..
Esplanade there was this couple who sat and enjoyed each other's presence for as long as i was there.. even when i left they were still there. So lovely..
Took the train home and i saw one couple which i saw while walking earlier in the day came into the same train..
Interesting day for me.. hmm

Love is in the air for them..

I do know why i feel so irrelevant.. Felt so what.. I duno.. But kept quiet..
Maybe i am just real tired and i duno why i am up.. I am supposed to be sweeping the house clean but i cant find the broom..
I just feel like lying down whole day and stare at the ceiling.. I just dont feel like doing anything.
But guess i am gonna do some house cleaning to keep me preoccupied.

Todae slept till rather late.. cos yesterday just came home from brenda's bdae chalet...

Haha.. had fun i guess.. tiring.. And the planning was kinda tough and i screwed up here and there..

On sat itself.. Alif, Affan and Shahirah helped to trick brenda into going to the chalet.. haha.. Thanks for helping.. at least they went to bowling and such..

Reached chalet about 3 plus.. waited with all the pressies in my hand.. at least i had my mother to help me if not i won't have made it..

Then her sister frens and her flying club frens all came.. haha..

Most imptly i hope she enjoyed the chalet.
Really enjoyed doing the stuff although i sucked at planning.

It's complicated...

Well it's good friday.. shud be a happy day.. after all i did..
Later in the evening have dinner with family to celeb grandpa and cousin's bdae.. at least not so boring.. Guess i gonna give cousin some money to get herself a quite cheap guitar.. since she is learning.. haha..

Seeing the smile on people's faces can make one happy.. at least.

Sleep well xavier...
chao!

Do people really understand you...

Wtf cannot take it man.. second time this shit happens.. Isit so difficult to show some care for someone?? Can't some people be more understanding? yea whatever go on ignoring me.. I cant care less for now.

Talked back to mother over the slightest thing and wow i ended off saying "I dun realli care about you all"... what the fuck made me said that... I wonder.. seriously.. the slightest things makes me angry these days..

Like wtf man.. seriously.. come home.. show face and i duno how the fuck adults wanna handle their probs cos it's called "adult's problems"... arrgh fuck it all... Talk to her and ask later wanto go walk after dinner.. no reply (wtf?!)... Great just fucking great... Always distracted by her fone...

How about we learn what each other problem is and try to treat each other fucking better?? How about that harh!?.. Yeayea.. move on from the past... how about the past and the present not much different?? Life is shit.. everytime i take a crap and look into the bowels... I see life..

Just feel like going out for a walk alone but i just cant think of anywhere to go.. I just need rest from everything.. real tired. I just need, I duno...

...what's another night all alone...

yea.. sorry for the vulgarities.. I'm just not in the right frame of mind now..

Blog's dying... agreed...

Ok shall blog a bit after not blogging long time...
Well basically, today started off at 6plus... Woke up to go with dad to visit grandfather grave or can say ashes?..
Kinda smoky but everything else was fine... And the best part... We had to wait for my relative, the so called oldest uncle -.-.. Sure took his time to come man. All reached and he came after my mother, brother and I left not long.. cos when we left.. saw his damn car...

Okay.. enuf of that... mother dropped bro off at fren's house and we went shopping at bugis!!! Bought one ARENA swimming trunks.. ermm yea... and one FILA shorts.. It was rather worth it.. buy 1 get 2 free man.. but the price of it was 49.90 -.-

Afterwhich went to grandma hse for dinner.. usual.. But todae was rather interesting. Laughed more then i usually do.. (Most of the time i find one corner).
During dinner... I as the oldest among all the kids (can say adult le =]) took some egg for my younger cousin. When the egg i duno how or maybe someone cast some harry potter spell, slipped off the spoon and dropped into a whole lot of chilli!!!!
Instead of giving it to some adult (not me) he action... Said this "nevermind, I will just eat it one larh"... And when he took the first bite... I was LOL-ing away at the side... hahaha.. He asked for a cup of cold water!! haha.. At least he finished the egg... Good boy cousin.. =p
Not my fault if u got burnt lips haha... (my fault actually, forgive me =[)

Basically that was my day... haha boring yet interesting...

And to all out there... keep safe and stay happy... Hope ya all no probs! =)
If any problem can find this uncle xavier here.. Uncle alr (actually not that old larh)..

Weird post...

Hot and Cold...
Just like the weather now... So irregular...
So expecting... like how the weather expects us to live with such conditions... Even when we don't want to...

But the past weather was so much nicer...
There was no need to be afraid of the conditions... As they did not existed then...
Just like how the weather was well loved then... It was loved...
The chance was not given to show how well loved it was... but it was loved...

Till now... it's still loved... Because... the person living in this world has not given up on the well weather then... so perfect... near yet far... Getting the weather you desire does not come easily or when you want it... Cause sometimes it's just not possible...

However, the person does not stop... Chasing after the weather...

A song called giving up on love...

Third post of the day...

Wonder what's wrong with me today... just not myself the whole day and just didn't like the day...
Maybe i am feeling sick maybe i am just tired...
Confused with myself... I am just being weird...
Dumb Dumb Dumb xavier =)

私はちょうど幸せ…であることを望む そして私はである幸せ… 私はちょうど私の祈りで常に保ち続ける…
原因である実際に特別… 私に

Poly is about to start again which marks 1 yr of my education there... with my fav class.. Alot things happened but what matters is we're tgt again... same class...

One more thing... 15 april needa go back to school to help out Mr Kong. Guess what i'll be helping out on... SPICE training.. Basically to help the new students this year with any prob during the training...


Till then chao..

Lonely Wednesday...

To people out there who feels so sick and tired of everything when you lose someone special or someone close... Don't give up hope... Not easy but hold on... You don't have to give life up...

Here's a song...
Good Charlotte-Hold on

Got my results but didnt care much... More worried for the rest...WOO and the best came... all of us same class again... YEA!

Prayers do work and ofc.. believing in them..
=)

Stay happy~

Here's a song for all of you all love ya all!!! Always... Love xav...

Today went out to celebrate AFFAN's bdae!!! He's 19 and "young"... Hope ya liked the guitar and bdae card though it's a bit vulgar =x

Ate swensens and we were high... at least for me... tiring to be high though... After main course, the earthquake came tgt with the guitar... wowwww magic... swensens giving free guitar =x
Hahas... nah we bought a guitar for him... a real one indeed..

After paying and such we left and went to catch a movie at CATHAY de CATHAY hahas... inside joke... The movie PUSH was not that bad though some found it boring... I push you hehe.... Basically a movie about people who has some kinda power as they fight to get this drug that enhances their power where there are 3 grps of people... The division where people who has power workin for the government, The grp of "gangsters" who are not really smart.... AND the good people cool... hehe

Sum 41 - With me
I don't want this moment to ever end
Where everythings nothing without you
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you

Through it all, I made my mistakes
I stumble and fall, but I mean these words

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

Thoughts read unspoken, forever in doubt
Pieces of memories fall to the ground
I know what I didn't have so, I won't let this go
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you

All the streets where I walked alone, with nowhere to go
I've come to an end

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies
When you don't know what you're looking to find
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies
When you just never know what you will find (what you will find)

I don't want this moment to ever end
Where everythings nothing without you

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go (I want you to know)
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

Accident... family probs... All just comes...
How about i hope 8 understand me......

Mom's car knocked into a taxi... Duno whose fault isit as i was sleeping... woke up from the jerk only to find my knee lost some skin...

Adults... can they just share wtf happened?

Pissed and confused with the things happening... at least there was somebody who understood me at least...

Why isit so difficult to understand one another and give in to the other party sometimes.. i seriously wonder...

Well to end off this not so very wonderful day...

Lyrics to a wonderful song....
Sum 41 - Pieces

I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real
I’d thought it’d be easy
But no on believes me
I meant all the things that I said

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don’t know how it got so bad
Sometimes it’s so crazy that nothing could save me
But it’s the only thing that I have

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

(On my own!)

I tried to be perfect
It just wasn’t worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It’s hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know That I’m better off on my own.........

Today was just another day gone to waste..
Only thing i did was stoned and did nothing.. morning waited for the singtel guy to come help fix up the mio.. and now my hse number got changed with my grandma's number... Noon came and i went to pool with affan which was more interesting then stoning...

At least thurs and fri is coming so soon..
Thurs, outing with danny to some exhibition kinda thing sounds interesting...
Fri, been looking forward to that day.. since i last went out with mabel has been a real long time..

To end off my boring day.. I had migrane for half of the day.. either stoned too much or think too much..
Guess it looks like a solo tonight~

chao

God bless you....
all i guess

Went to church and after which stayed back at the glass tower to see mabel play guitar and learn from a uncle... Hahs... Though i dun realli noe what he was teaching as they were all chords at least there were music...

I shall start learning something from that uncle cos he seems experienced... He said if i dun learn the basics properly... Godfather will sound like grandfather Lol!

Till then chao...

I finally got my blackie!!! (not being racist or whatever but it's a guitar)

Hehe ain't saying much for this 2nd post just take a look at it =)'

That me playing the guitar =)

Wow... finally the end of exams... hahas.. now i can finally put everything aside and wait for the results to be posted out...

Rather worried for few people... really wish to be classmates again.. and all i an do now is keep them in my prayers..

Went to watched pink panther 2... not a bad show... maybe i was the one feeling bad and thinking nonsense that's why i slept... Sleeping helps alot, but makes no difference actually... after sleeping felt much better... then woke up to finish watching the show... Glad money was well spent for the movie...
Well guess i am rather temperamental and dumb... like what people say...

Wells.. here are the hols and i am learning bit by bit how to play a guitar from affan... and maybe brenda is joining too... hopefully we three can play tgt sometime... wanna learn fast... well practice makes perfect =)


xav... must wake up from this dream he has been living in... it's high time he open his eyes... and see where this is leading him...
He always face things that makes him sad.. which means he should stop it now...

He should stop chasing rainbows.

[Smiles of a boy]
Since when did it become all about you...
I feel down and out every time i see you down...
No matter how I try to fix the words together...
Nothing seems to come out of my mouth...

One thing i know for sure...
No matter how you treated me before...
I have long thrown these memories away together with time...
However memories of your smile remains with me even when time pass...
All I know for sure is that my door is always open even when people calls me dumb...
This is because I know for sure, I never wanna see you hurt...


He enjoys being around you and seeing your smile that puts me at ease...
[He = me]

Just came home from woodlands with the usual frens... alif, affan, shahirah and zaid... and not to forget brenda... Feeling dead tired and thinking things thru...

First things first i hope my fren won't be too sad over some matters that happened in the family... I seriously hope he will be ok and his family won't be too sad...

Secondly, i am thinking about this one person... who means alot to me at the apparent moment... hopefully when my feelings are made known... nothing bad will happen... but giving up is not an option for me at the time being... cos it's for real... though i am afraid history might repeat itself i noe i can make it right and hopefully my feelings and care/concern will be made known and things go well =))

Wah think xav is back... been away from blogging for God knows how long... But anyways i'm back yea...

Been a slacking period of time for me as i havent been realli making good use of my life and studying(most importantly..) LOL... wells it's high time i start studying for good as the exams are coming up real soon and i don't wanna forward(retake) any modules if possible... sheesh... need motivation...

Wells basically todae started off rather fine... woke up later then usual as lessons starts later then usual by 1 hr -.-".. yea lame... msged few people wishing them all the best for their O's results... Well my cousin won me by 1 point -.-"... been losing to him since ancient times... hahas but i am happy for him duh...

Smsed Gen wishing a better yr this yr and ofc JIAYOUS for her upcoming A levels.. You will do well i believe in you!! =))

After school went out with shairah as usual with the rest to get her passport done... then went to bugis with aleeve and slacked for awhile while getting his new watch(eheh nice sey). After which went our separate ways and go home. Upon rwaching home, went for a jog as usual.. hehe.. But todae wells getting old alr... knees giving me probs.. pain and blah blah blah... haha... wells hopefully tomoro will be a fun day haha...

Till then... (looking forward to go out study again.. Zs, Gen..(=)