NAFA is only 2 to 3 more weeks away. Funny how I keep saying I don't wanna go in 2 months earlier but I am training quite little. Partially due to my body. My knee has been giving me pain and it won't go away.

Maybe it's time to go for a medical check up which I didn't do for a long long time. Treasuring the time we have and making the best out of it. I have to treasure it.

I should really thank people around me who care for me. Who without me knowing came into my life and continue to care for me.  My grandma called me the other day, asking me if I wanna learn how to drive, and if I wanted to, she would give me the money to learn. I told her it's okay I have the money to learn, but she kept insisting. She said to me, whatever you want to learn or do, tell me... For I will support you always. She is really the pillar of support for me. Since young she had never let me fall... Even though I have fallen many times due to straying away from the safe side... She always stood by me...

It's amazing how one realise the importance of time when something bad happens, or when one is faced with an illness. One person who taught me so is aya... Never give up and be strong.

Staying cheerful and happy always.. is the best.

Thank you Lord for the people you have put into my life. For their existence is of utmost importance to me. Thank you Lord for them when I need help, when I fail, when I fall, they are always there waiting to lend me a helping hand. I pray for your blessings to be upon them and may they remain happy always and forever more. All these I pray in Jesus name. AMEN.

It's one week into the holidays. The second week officially starts today.

Time flies funny isn't it? When it's the schooling season, we always wishes for the holidays to come quickly. And when it comes, it seems to pass so quickly when we are just wasting it away. I'm starting to see the time given to me on this Earth as a gift from God and I want to start making use of this precious time to fulfill the things I want to do.

I used to be someone with no aims, goals or dreams. I used to just live for the moment, live for the day. But now I realised I had sub-consciously picked up some interests in things I wanna accomplish so strongly. Even though I had these interests back then, I always put them down as I didn't have the courage to carry them out.

However, I do not want this to stay. Now I have realised the things I want to accomplish no matter how hard it may be. I can if I believe and put in the effort.

As long as I place God in the center of my life.

When life leaves us blind..
Love keeps us kind..
Love keeps us kind..
It keeps us kind.....

Been playing alot since school ended. Feels good.. But something is lacking. Sleep maybe.
I don't know man. Been getting angry easily for the pass few days over the slightest irritation by anyone.
Gotten rather angry on Friday already.
Friday well, it was fked up.

At least to make up for it, caught 2 movies and played some LAN with Tristan, Daryl and Edwin. Thought Tristan left after the 1st movie as he had to work the next day. Resident evil afterlife was okay I would say though they left a cliffhanger for the viewers. Everyone was like aww.. There will be the next movie.
I need to do this more to clear my head totally. From school from shit from everything.

You and your family of the same gender brings the most sorrow into the life of  my gender.

If, you think you are so perfect. Please maybe you might wanna consider leaving this not so perfect piece of shit alone?

Exams are finally over. Everyone came out with a smile on their face and all asked where to next? Home or happy hour. I thought I would rejoice and such. But I came out faking a smile and probably feeling empty for the first time after exams.

Maybe having the exams was much better than not having any. At least exams make me feel pressurized to study and not think of anything else. At least it helps me not think of her. Now I got all the time in the world, my mind starts to wander off to many things. If I ever cross her mind again, lets just hope I'm still around.

Smile more... Sure.. When I find the reason for me to.

So hard to even reply. So hard to even wish me all the best. So hard to just be normal and talk. I am tired, really tired. This period I have been put through really made me tired. Please don't smile for just that moment. Please don't be nice for just that moment. Please make it nice whenever we talk or meet. Please don't leave me hanging like this or please don't let me feel the cold.

I meant everything I said. I want you to do your best, and I said it from the bottom of my heart. I still remember the deal we had. I am still trying to make it come true. No matter how busy I am, I always try to put you in my mind. I don't know about you.. I hope it's the same. I might not be the most handsome guy, I might not be the most smart-talking guy, I might not be what you want me to be. But are you willing to accept me for who I am? Well I am ready to accept you for who you are if you need to know.

I don't know if sharing these thoughts are bad or good.. But it sure made me feel better.
Another tiring day..
Retiring off to bed...

zZz..

Need a break

Been getting too little proper sleep and my mind can't seem to think straight.

Dear lord Jesus, I pray that may you give me the strength to make it through this period of time. Help me to focus on my studies and help me to keep a clear mind so that I can think properly. Heal my heart and make it clean lord Jesus. I can't put into words the things you have done for me and the guidance you have provided me through every phase in my life. Even when I fail you, you are always there. Thank you God Almighty and please continue to shine your light upon my soul.
All these I pray in Jesus name.
AMEN!

Not changing my decision.

Caught an hour of sleep. The very least of help I could do my body.

These nights have been rather long for me. Diarrhea from last night, having a big pimple-like thingy at my back which hurts every time I lie on my back and I just can't stop thinking. My heart does not allow me to. Once the exams are over, I gotta let the whole world know. Cos I can't miss doing this everyday when I need to treasure every moment I've got.
You're the one Mabel.

There's a paper tomorrow, but I haven't touched my notes. They're still in my bag. And here comes Mr. Diarrhea knocking on my tummy's door.

Ciao
Everything will be better tomorrow and I know it will, for God is my strength.