Ooo......

Today spent duno how long at the self cert place with shahirah... Stupid lappie.. I think out lappies can throw away alr.. SP sucks for not giving us a choice of vista or XP. And now the FRESHIES get to choose and they can connect to SPwireless without any prob!... Stupid..
And sorry to you know who if you see this... sorry for making your bag smell of fan choy =x

Oh wells am back home.. everything seems calm in me... and i'm waiting for my mother's fried rice!! Ohm nom nom nom.. Long time since i last ate her fried rice. And i missed the taste... And i cant make my mother worry anymore..

Thanks mom.. I understand.. If it shall it shall be.. If not no use fighting hard. But never give up too unless it hurts. Time to think for myself..
Thanks mom =)

Mabel tell me bout the fishing thing soon yea?
chao..

Shahirah.. hoped u liked the cold pearly... Dun ask me why but i felt like treating you..
To Alif.. sorry that last min never join u for the ice cream..


God please save me for what I am.. and everything I am..
So that I can revert back to Xavier back then..
So my pillow wont sits to dry..
So that deep inside I wont sigh..
So that I can smile the smiles I hope to..
Take my breathe away.. Thank you God..

I drank todae night.. until now i am still awake.. i sat at the stairs of my block thinking thru things.. and i noe it's time i shud wake up.. To be honest.. my head was throbbing and i just thot alot things.. guess when u are half drunk u tend to say what you feel most..

I felt i am going down.. For this past one year.. Just holding on.. be it this or family.. Mother came back and saw me there.. walked with me while listening to what i have to say... I just noe that i shud learn how to treasure myself more..

Whatever happened is past and i shall learn to move on.. yes move on.. it's difficult but i shud try my best.. Like shahirah said.. if she can do it.. i can.

This might be the final post for my blog.. and i wanna apologise to someone.. real sorry.

xavier's okay..

Cheryl dun be sad.. gonna be over everything's gonna be fine. Sorry if i bumped into u at the wrong time.. But dun be sad anymore k? Anything find me.. even tho i am no where much better.. I will try to help be4 i die haha.. And what i mean is not that i am gonna die... I'll try at least.

And thanks to Shahirah my bawg.. you rock not only in guitar hero.. in my life too. Thanks a billion cant stop thanking you. Haha.. depression time.. haha (inside joke). Need food for the restaurant city find me.. owe you one..or more..

And danny thanks for coming out with me at such late notice.. rather last minute but still thanks alot.. even tho i did nothing at the lib.. But talking to you is a life saver.. 5 years of frenship.. what more can i ask for.. whack me to death also will remember u as a fren who is always there.. thanks. And your drawing's nice.. random but there.. you got ur talent.

The reason why i am up so early is becos the whole night i couldnt sleep.. Infection in the ear driving me nuts.. Woke up to took one panadol extra but no use.. the pain got worse and i keep turning in bed..

Then now just came home after seeing the doctor.. he said no swimming for one month and must use something or ear plugs to cover the ear when bathing.. If not the pain will keep on coming back only. Had an injection in my ass and i didnt noe it was so serious... And anti-biotics are huge.. And to top it all, everything cost 50 bucks.. But doctor was kind enough when i told him i only got 50 in my pocket.. Thanks you doctor..

problematic kid i am..

went out for today.. at least i did.. if not i might have gone crazy..

Bumped into alif.. then went tgt with my fren to esplanade.. we just lazed arund and do nothing i guess. Thanks danny for accompanying me..

On the way home saw so many couples.. and many old ones at my hse downstairs.. Haha.. they are examples of love that can last.. Admire them..
Esplanade there was this couple who sat and enjoyed each other's presence for as long as i was there.. even when i left they were still there. So lovely..
Took the train home and i saw one couple which i saw while walking earlier in the day came into the same train..
Interesting day for me.. hmm

Love is in the air for them..

I do know why i feel so irrelevant.. Felt so what.. I duno.. But kept quiet..
Maybe i am just real tired and i duno why i am up.. I am supposed to be sweeping the house clean but i cant find the broom..
I just feel like lying down whole day and stare at the ceiling.. I just dont feel like doing anything.
But guess i am gonna do some house cleaning to keep me preoccupied.

Todae slept till rather late.. cos yesterday just came home from brenda's bdae chalet...

Haha.. had fun i guess.. tiring.. And the planning was kinda tough and i screwed up here and there..

On sat itself.. Alif, Affan and Shahirah helped to trick brenda into going to the chalet.. haha.. Thanks for helping.. at least they went to bowling and such..

Reached chalet about 3 plus.. waited with all the pressies in my hand.. at least i had my mother to help me if not i won't have made it..

Then her sister frens and her flying club frens all came.. haha..

Most imptly i hope she enjoyed the chalet.
Really enjoyed doing the stuff although i sucked at planning.

It's complicated...

Well it's good friday.. shud be a happy day.. after all i did..
Later in the evening have dinner with family to celeb grandpa and cousin's bdae.. at least not so boring.. Guess i gonna give cousin some money to get herself a quite cheap guitar.. since she is learning.. haha..

Seeing the smile on people's faces can make one happy.. at least.

Sleep well xavier...
chao!

Do people really understand you...

Wtf cannot take it man.. second time this shit happens.. Isit so difficult to show some care for someone?? Can't some people be more understanding? yea whatever go on ignoring me.. I cant care less for now.

Talked back to mother over the slightest thing and wow i ended off saying "I dun realli care about you all"... what the fuck made me said that... I wonder.. seriously.. the slightest things makes me angry these days..

Like wtf man.. seriously.. come home.. show face and i duno how the fuck adults wanna handle their probs cos it's called "adult's problems"... arrgh fuck it all... Talk to her and ask later wanto go walk after dinner.. no reply (wtf?!)... Great just fucking great... Always distracted by her fone...

How about we learn what each other problem is and try to treat each other fucking better?? How about that harh!?.. Yeayea.. move on from the past... how about the past and the present not much different?? Life is shit.. everytime i take a crap and look into the bowels... I see life..

Just feel like going out for a walk alone but i just cant think of anywhere to go.. I just need rest from everything.. real tired. I just need, I duno...

...what's another night all alone...

yea.. sorry for the vulgarities.. I'm just not in the right frame of mind now..

Blog's dying... agreed...

Ok shall blog a bit after not blogging long time...
Well basically, today started off at 6plus... Woke up to go with dad to visit grandfather grave or can say ashes?..
Kinda smoky but everything else was fine... And the best part... We had to wait for my relative, the so called oldest uncle -.-.. Sure took his time to come man. All reached and he came after my mother, brother and I left not long.. cos when we left.. saw his damn car...

Okay.. enuf of that... mother dropped bro off at fren's house and we went shopping at bugis!!! Bought one ARENA swimming trunks.. ermm yea... and one FILA shorts.. It was rather worth it.. buy 1 get 2 free man.. but the price of it was 49.90 -.-

Afterwhich went to grandma hse for dinner.. usual.. But todae was rather interesting. Laughed more then i usually do.. (Most of the time i find one corner).
During dinner... I as the oldest among all the kids (can say adult le =]) took some egg for my younger cousin. When the egg i duno how or maybe someone cast some harry potter spell, slipped off the spoon and dropped into a whole lot of chilli!!!!
Instead of giving it to some adult (not me) he action... Said this "nevermind, I will just eat it one larh"... And when he took the first bite... I was LOL-ing away at the side... hahaha.. He asked for a cup of cold water!! haha.. At least he finished the egg... Good boy cousin.. =p
Not my fault if u got burnt lips haha... (my fault actually, forgive me =[)

Basically that was my day... haha boring yet interesting...

And to all out there... keep safe and stay happy... Hope ya all no probs! =)
If any problem can find this uncle xavier here.. Uncle alr (actually not that old larh)..