From the heart

I'll constantly be keeping you in my prayers.

Keep the faith going.

Been getting angry easily the past few days. Tutorials which I can't do no matter how much I try. Lectures which are so dry and complicated. Lack of sleep.

I don't know how long I can hold on here. But all I can think of is to cool myself down and read the bible.

Thank God, I went to church for cell on last Sunday. Alina touched on the subject of sin and the fall of men. The point she pointed out "who are we to demand anything from God?" struck me and I thought about it.

Everything we have right now, are all given to us by God. And he has the right to take them away from us. It's part of God's will and he had already came up with a plan for each and everyone of us. Natural disasters happen, yes God allowed it. But it does not mean he does not care for us. It's because of our sins that mother nature have to pay. If through losing someone or something precious, a whole family come to know of the truth and light, and come to accept Jesus. It might not be entirely bad.

I guess God do work in mysterious ways. When he closes a door, he opens another for us.

What a cool Friday. Outing with classmates which did not happen in a long long time. Caught Harry Potter; the deathly hallows. It's kinda boring but the spells fighting scenes were kinda cool, but too short.

Ate at burger king and pastamania. Tomorrow I really have to do extra exercises to burn this crap off. Anyway it's fine to pamper ourselves once in awhile.

Currently can't wait till Jap classes begins. Really wanna learn that language real bad and since it's something that interest me and I get to do it, I won't give up.

Still in the process of carrying out the promise.

To me, you're nothing but a pest to me.

It's the final lap.. Won't be seeing you in a long time. So it's okay. Too bad school does not allow changing of classes, so I have da bear with it through 3 years seeing your face everyday. 

I tried to be forgiving, but some people ain't worth my time. 

So bye. Do some soul searching for yourself when you realize you needed some. 

All the best of luck to doing so. 

Today was a day just like one of those people will feel?

The feeling of giving up.

Even though I have been keeping up the "never give up" attitude, today I didn't practice what I preached.

I went jogging with Spencer feeling fucked up. When we came to pull ups section, we did tgt.
Even when I couldn't do anymore, I tried. I pushed, but I still couldn't hit 7 pull ups. Slowly, I wanted to give up. However, Spencer helped lift my legs up to aid me with pull ups. I reached the limit and I just couldn't take it.

With all the shit that happened or is going on in my mind, I had to release them all. I punched the metal pole real hard. He knew he should let me take a breather. And he did. I walked around to cool myself down and then Spencer said, come on we got more pull ups to do. And he helped me again.

It's not about the inability to do the pull ups, but it's the lesson I learnt from this. Although life hasn't been great, and I have tried so much so hard to make it better, I can't give up now. It's because of his simple help to aid me with the pull ups, I see the need to continue on.

The problem with true friends are, even though they know that it irritates the hell out of you by saying some stuff. They still say them. Because they know it helps you to get back onto your feet and they want you to come back strong.

Haven't teared in a long time, but today I did. Been holding back myself for too long. Won't be seeing this side of me for a long time to come.

Even though you irritate the shit out of me Spencer, I know you mean well. Thanks buddy.

I promised myself to never give up.

Don't be afraid..

Don't be afraid..

I promised myself to never forget.

Don't be afraid..

Don't be afraid..

It's not as complicated as it seems.

Don't be afraid..

Don't be afraid.